The Attorney-Client Relationship

By its very nature, divorce is one of the most emotionally charged fields of law. While it is important that a relationship between divorce attorney and client be trusting and comfortable, it is equally important to set certain boundaries. Divorce lawyers working in the family arena are fully aware that they are dealing with people who are undergoing trauma. Most divorce attorneys are sympathetic and compassionate and are accustomed to tears and outbursts. However, a divorce lawyer cannot take the place of a confessor, psychologist, or best friend. Most family lawyers are as patient as they can be, but none can spend five hours a day offering emotional solace.

A divorce lawyer must often explain to the client why some of their desires or ideas cannot be legally accomplished. Try to be willing to listen to legal advice with an open mind.

Be careful following the advice of well meaning friends. Remember that every divorce is different. That is to say, for example, that the retirement benefits, support and insurance arrangements that work to the benefit of a spouse in one divorce case may not work for you or your spouse in your own divorce. Keeping friends close during divorce is important when processing the grief and anger you will experience. But unless your friend in an experienced divorce lawyer, the legal advise they offer should be kept in perspective.

As the client, you are the ultimate boss for as long as the relationship lasts. In a divorce, the lawyers' first concern should be the goals of the client. A good divorce lawyer will also explain the limits of the law and will take his or her role as peacemaker, in addition to advocate, just as seriously. It is not the role of the lawyer to be a weapon for one spouse to use against the other.

In sum, a good lawyer-client relationship is a team effort, but the final balance of power always rests with the client. A client should choose a lawyer whose opinion and advice he or she can respect and value.